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Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definition
The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest.
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8 Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
Mailedbypostman
05-03-2004, 11:27 PM
what? Oh, i see it now.
iambear
05-04-2004, 01:31 PM
when we were kids my brother thought "Oral sex" meant talking dirty on the phone :D
Scott Miller
05-05-2004, 12:40 AM
Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definition
The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest.
Those got great yuks from everyone I showed them to and spurred on our own little contest. I'll post the results and of course anyone is welcome to participate.
Contest--an examination given to criminals.
Express-benching your former spouse.
Scott
Biggles
05-05-2004, 01:07 AM
Those got great yuks from everyone I showed them to and spurred on our own little contest. I'll post the results and of course anyone is welcome to participate.
Contest--an examination given to criminals.
Express-benching your former spouse.
Scott
That reminds me of an idea I had for a book (very un-PC). "The Ex-Terminator", about a hit man who specializes in whacking ex-wives, making it look like an accident, of course. Still might be a good idea, but then I like the whole idea of "The Stepford Wives".
The contest definition reminded of a lame joke told by a judge at a judicial conference I attended in Indy one year. The Hoosier Dome was under construction at the time, and he joked that it was going to be built by prisoners and called the "Condome". Now you know what "sober as a judge" means. It doesn't mean judges don't drink; it means they can't tell jokes.
Biggles
05-05-2004, 01:08 AM
when we were kids my brother thought "Oral sex" meant talking dirty on the phone :D
"Aural sex"-when you tell someone to "stick it in your ear".
Biggles
05-05-2004, 01:13 AM
Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definition
The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest.
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8 Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
17. Innuendo (n.), I'd better not go there. Well, OK, an Italian term for a certain sex act.
Paul R
05-05-2004, 04:24 AM
How about:
"Bigamist" - a fog larger than any other.
"Complain" - a passenger jet full of communists
Libby
12-11-2008, 10:45 PM
He he.:p
Resurrecting four year old threads again I see. :)
Legion
12-12-2008, 12:03 AM
Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definition
The Washington Post annually publishes a contest for readers in which they are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries in this year's contest.
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8 Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.), the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist
Wow... I'm such a nerd. I love it. I think somewhere in the recesses of my mind I've read these before. Can't recall where.
Jay #1
12-12-2008, 01:59 AM
considering I missed it entirely.... glad this one came back up
.... glad this one came back up
Oh, I know this one!
Regurgitate... masturbating twice in one day to the same movie!:D
volshan
12-13-2008, 01:40 AM
Word Lovers / Washington Post Annual Word Definition
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
That, of course, implies
Coffer: the person who does the coughing.
mad4tunes
12-13-2008, 01:43 AM
Does that mean that a "coffin" could be a smoker's convention, or maybe a gathering of people with emphysema?
wdg3rd
12-13-2008, 01:11 PM
considering I missed it entirely.... glad this one came back up
Yeah, I'd missed it too.
That definition of Frisbeetarianism (which is not a real word, last I checked) dates at least back to the 80s, when I encountered it in a Unix fortune cookie file.
Does that mean that a "coffin" could be a smoker's convention, or maybe a gathering of people with emphysema?
I'm thinking a motel that caters to people with emphysema.
Libby
12-15-2008, 06:43 PM
Resurrecting four year old threads again I see. :)
They are in the zone right now.:D:p
Brian
12-15-2008, 07:04 PM
I'm laughing, and glad this thread was brought back. I would have missed it.
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