Top Country Songs

[Ken Valentine]

15) If I can't be number one in your life, then number two on you.

14) If the phone don't ring, you know it's me.

13) How can I miss you if you won't go away?

12) I liked you better before I got to know you so well.

11) I'm still missing you baby, but my aim's gettin' better.

10) I wouldn't take her to a dog fight 'cause I'm afraid she'd win.

9) I'll marry you tomorrow, but let's honeymoon tonight.

8) I'm so miserable without you, it's like you're still here.

7) If I had shot you when I first wanted to I'd be out of prison by now.

6) My wife ran off with my best friend and I shore do miss him.

5) She got the ring and I got the finger.

4) You're the reason our kids are so ugly.

3) Her teeth was stained but her heart was pure.

2) She's lookin' better after every beer.

1) I ain't never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I shore have woke up with a few.

Ken V.

[Peter]

Billy Connoly, a great Scottish comedian, once said that he had worked out the formula for country and western songs. You had to have a religous element, a tragedy involving a relative and a handicapped or otherwise unfortunate person. On this basis he came up with the ultimate country and western song called:-

My Granny Died In The Grotto At Lourdes Because A Hunchback Pushed Her In

Frankyl if he recorded it I'd buy it

[Ken Valentine]

Billy Connoly, a great Scottish comedian, once said that he had worked out the formula for country and western songs. You had to have a religous element, a tragedy involving a relative and a handicapped or otherwise unfortunate person. On this basis he came up with the ultimate country and western song called:-

My Granny Died In The Grotto At Lourdes Because A Hunchback Pushed Her In

Frankly if he recorded it I'd buy it

WHAT?!? No cheatin' an' drinkin' songs?

I actually heard a song back in the late '60's entitled, "I got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed and crying over you." Only heard it once . . . that was enough!

Ken V.

[jimbow8]

What do the Scottish know aboot Country Western songs, anyhoo?

[Ken Valentine]

What do the Scottish know aboot Country Western songs, anyhoo?

Maybe he's thinking of the Country of Western Scotland . . . Skye . . . Mull . . . Tyree?

Ken V.

[Peter]

Oh, you'd be suprised, half the farmers in Devon are Country and Western fans (despite never having left the county!). I was once at a dance where someone I had only ever seen herding his cows about was on stage in stetson, boots, etc. singing about some crystal chandeliers or other. Even drinking didn't help, I had to leave! Nothing against the music (though it was a dreadfully sentimental song as I recall) but there was only one person in the room who thought he could sing, and he was singing.

[fpw]

One of my favorites (and this is a real C&W song) is "My Exes Are in Texas That's Why I'm in Tennessee."

[Ken Valentine]

One of my favorites (and this is a real C&W song) is "My Exes Are in Texas That's Why I'm in Tennessee."


That's a great title! :D

I've been trying without success to find a copy of a Pinchard and Bowden record made about 13-14 years ago. P&B took popular country and western songs and changed the words, resulting in some VERY funny satire. One example being Willie Nelson's, "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain," getting changed into a song about little old ladies in their cars . . . "Blue Hairs Driving In My Lane."

And . . .

Remember that truck driving song by Eddie Rabbit, "Driving My Life Away?"

Pinchard And Bowden changed it into a song called, "Driving My Wife Away."

The Lyrics went something like:

Went out drinkin',

Come in late stinkin',

Told the wife, left the keys, in the car, sittin' by the highway,

And it got stoooolen.

Tell the wife get dressed,

High heels, Sunday best,

Fix her face, lots of fun, she thinks we're goin' to a party,

And I take her Bowlinnnn'.

Ooooh, I'm drivin' my wife away,

She can't take another day,

Of meeeee. :D


My taste in C&W music is pretty much limited to Jim Reeves, Patsy Kline, Eddie Arnold, The Sons Of The Pioneers, and the like. But I love the comedic and satirical songs by Homer and Jethro, and Pinchard and Bowden, unfortunately, I don't learn of them until long after they are unavailable.

Ken V.

[Scott Miller]

[QUOTE=Ken Valentine
My taste in C&W music is pretty much limited to Jim Reeves, Patsy Kline, Eddie Arnold, The Sons Of The Pioneers, and the like. But I love the comedic and satirical songs by Homer and Jethro, and Pinchard and Bowden, unfortunately, I don't learn of them until long after they are unavailable.[/QUOTE]


You might ought want to give Dwight Yoakum, Buck Owens, or Lucinda Williams a listen; they are true to traditional country music. Pete Anderson, from Yoakum's band, is one of my favorite guitarists.

Scott

[Ken Valentine]

Scott Miller
You might ought want to give Dwight Yoakum, Buck Owens, or Lucinda Williams a listen; they are true to traditional country music. Pete Anderson, from Yoakum's band, is one of my favorite guitarists.
Scott


No offense, but I have heard them . . . that's why I didn't include them.
They are not to my taste. But then if everybody liked the same things I do, I'd end up standing in endless lines waiting to do it.

Ken V.

[Scott Miller]

Driving through Nebraska about 3 years ago, I was at the mercy of the scan button on my radio when I heard one of the funniest songs ever, but damned if I can remember the title. Perhaps someone here may know. It was a song about a man who attempted to divorce his wife but she kept finding ways to stick around until eventually he delivered the ultimatum, which is also the title of the song, that went something like "If You Don't Divorce Me This Time, I'm Gonna Kill You." I have never heard the song again and I have been racking my brain to remember the name since this thread came up.

Scott

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

No offense, but I have heard them . . . that's why I didn't include them.
They are not to my taste. But then if everybody liked the same things I do, I'd end up standing in endless lines waiting to do it.

Ken V.

A great CW title: "If You Got Time Before I Pull the Trigger, Tell Me What He's Got That I Ain't Got." I've tried to track it down, but no luck so far. Here's the longest song title that I know of: "I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets Of Yokahama with My Honolulu Mama Doin' Those Beat-o, Beat-o, Flat-on-My Seat-o Hirohito Blues." Hoagy Carmichael, where are you now that we need you??

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

Billy Connoly, a great Scottish comedian, once said that he had worked out the formula for country and western songs. You had to have a religous element, a tragedy involving a relative and a handicapped or otherwise unfortunate person. On this basis he came up with the ultimate country and western song called:-

My Granny Died In The Grotto At Lourdes Because A Hunchback Pushed Her In

Frankyl if he recorded it I'd buy it

Dadburnit, that stirs a memory. Who was the American singer/songwriter who figured out the country formula...? His generic country tune started with the line, "I was drunk the day my ma got outta prison..." He died before his time, and I think maybe he co-wrote the song "The City of New Orleans," a '70s hit by Arlo Guthrie.

[jimbow8]

Here's the longest song title that I know of: "I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets Of Yokahama with My Honolulu Mama Doin' Those Beat-o, Beat-o, Flat-on-My Seat-o Hirohito Blues." Hoagy Carmichael, where are you now that we need you??
Dang! I think that is longer than " Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict." Although I still like the Floyd title better. :D

"Hoagy Carmichael ... later claimed the song title ended with 'Yank' and the rest was a joke."

[DaveStrorm]

Dadburnit, that stirs a memory. Who was the American singer/songwriter who figured out the country formula...? His generic country tune started with the line, "I was drunk the day my ma got outta prison..." He died before his time, and I think maybe he co-wrote the song "The City of New Orleans," a '70s hit by Arlo Guthrie.
I think that was Steve Goodman. He wrote one of my favorite baseball songs - A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request.

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

Dang! I think that is longer than " Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict." Although I still like the Floyd title better. :D

"Hoagy Carmichael ... later claimed the song title ended with 'Yank' and the rest was a joke."

You're trying to compare small furry animals and clanky old tanks here, Jimbow. A Vulcan logician would not approve.

[jimbow8]

You're trying to compare small furry animals and clanky old tanks here, Jimbow. A Vulcan logician would not approve.
That's true! Tribbles could over-run a tank any day!

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

I think that was Steve Goodman. He wrote one of my favorite baseball songs - A Dying Cub Fan's Last Request.

Steve Goodman it was, Dave. And that is indeed a great baseball song. (Though to be honest, I can't think of too many others. At the moment, I can't think of =one=other. "Take Me Out To the Ballgame?" (OK, "Centerfield" by John Fogarty. Any others hitting for the cycle?)

[jimbow8]

Steve Goodman it was, Dave. And that is indeed a great baseball song. (Though to be honest, I can't think of too many others. At the moment, I can't think of =one=other. "Take Me Out To the Ballgame?" (OK, "Centerfield" by John Fogarty. Any others hitting for the cycle?)
Meat Loaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light has baseball excerpts as does Let's Talk About Me by the Alan Parsons Project. Marv Albert alludes to it in Roger Waters' Perfect Sense Part II. There is also Joe Walsh's Rocky Mountain Way which mentions the "mighty" Casey.

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

Meat Loaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Light has baseball excerpts as does Let's Talk About Me by the Alan Parsons Project. Marv Albert alludes to it in Roger Waters' Perfect Sense Part II. There is also Joe Walsh's Rocky Mountain Way which mentions the "mighty" Casey.

By God, Jimbow, you're right. Though PARADISE isn't really =about= baseball, nor is ROCKY MOUNTAIN WAY (a fine, fine song), if you see my distinction.

[jimbow8]

I know, just pointing out references. There's also Glory Days by The Boss.

[Biggles]

Dang! I think that is longer than " Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict." Although I still like the Floyd title better. :D

"Hoagy Carmichael ... later claimed the song title ended with 'Yank' and the rest was a joke."

Completely off topic, but wasn't Hoagy Carmichael from Pittsburgh (the beautiful city on earth)?

[Tim Hatch]

Completely off topic, but wasn't Hoagy Carmichael from Pittsburgh (the beautiful city on earth)?

Bloomington, Indiana

[Flinx]

Has anyone here listened to Kinky Friedman?

Some of his songs include "They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore", "Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed" & "The Ballad Of Ira Hayes".

Besides being a singer , he also writes crime fiction.

[Biggles]

Bloomington, Indiana

I must be thinking of another famous jazz man.

[DaveStrorm]

Steve Goodman it was, Dave. And that is indeed a great baseball song. (Though to be honest, I can't think of too many others. At the moment, I can't think of =one=other. "Take Me Out To the Ballgame?" (OK, "Centerfield" by John Fogarty. Any others hitting for the cycle?)
Hmmm. Hitting for the cycle? Not sure. Yeah, "Centerfield" is a good one (and J.F. is a huge baseball fan) and I like "We're Talkin' Baseball." I'm not sure about its overall worth as a song, but "Van Lingle Mungo" is fun to listen to every once in a while. I remember trying with little success to figure out some of the names the first time I heard it (Sigmund Jakucki, etc.).

[Kenji]

Country songs....a few singers are famous, but mostly unknown in Japan. I like country songs. My favorit singers are....Shania Twain, Faith Hill, Reba McCintire,Teri Clark....oh,well, only ladies. :p

[Bastard]

I never really listened to a lot of country (though I've always loved rockabilly) while growing up--my folks hated it--but since I started dating my most recent ex-fiancee, I've developed quite a taste for the Dixie Chicks (yeah, yeah, say what you want, but there was nothing better than listening to her sing "cowboy take me away" to little ol' moi), some old bluegrass, and (of course) I'm a big fan of the Man in Black, Johnny Cash myself.

Jake

[Bluesman Mike Lindner]

I never really listened to a lot of country (though I've always loved rockabilly) while growing up--my folks hated it--but since I started dating my most recent ex-fiancee, I've developed quite a taste for the Dixie Chicks (yeah, yeah, say what you want, but there was nothing better than listening to her sing "cowboy take me away" to little ol' moi), some old bluegrass, and (of course) I'm a big fan of the Man in Black, Johnny Cash myself.

Jake

"My most recent ex-fiancee." That is a =wonderful= phrase just crying out for a lyric to be built around it. Luckily, Bluesman Mike is here, pen in hand. Is that your own phrase, Jake? (Always like to know who I'm heisting from...more righteous that way.)

[Bastard]

"My most recent ex-fiancee." That is a =wonderful= phrase just crying out for a lyric to be built around it. Luckily, Bluesman Mike is here, pen in hand. Is that your own phrase, Jake? (Always like to know who I'm heisting from...more righteous that way.)

Yes, Mike, that's a Jake Yoakum original. It actually got me quite a few laughs, over many (MANY) beers, with other Marines--that and the fact that I was engaged to one of my ex's twice (yeah, that one didn't really do me well on the intelligence rating). So, heist away Mike! Make us all proud.

--Jake