Rejected Titles for Children's Books

[Tim Hatch]

Rejected Titles for Children's Books

1. You are Different and That's Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It Book"

6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go to Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kittens Can Fly

12. That's it; I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes the Hamster. And Other Great Microwave Games

22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan

23. Your Nightmares Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool

30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!

31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet

32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road

33. You Can't Help It If You're Stupid

34. Patty Went Splat! (Don't YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)

35. Bullies Deserve To Die

36. Mommy's Got A New Baby To Love

38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You're Not A Sissy
:D

[Ken Valentine]

Great titles! What were they changed to?

Ken V.



Rejected Titles for Children's Books

1. You are Different and That's Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share

5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An "I-Can-Do-It Book"

6. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go to Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kittens Can Fly

12. That's it; I'm Putting You Up for Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Strangers Have the Best Candy

18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes the Hamster. And Other Great Microwave Games

22. The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan

23. Your Nightmares Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

29. The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool

30. If It Feels Good, Touch It!

31. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet

32. 101 Fun Games To Play In The Road

33. You Can't Help It If You're Stupid

34. Patty Went Splat! (Don't YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)

35. Bullies Deserve To Die

36. Mommy's Got A New Baby To Love

38. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You're Not A Sissy
:D

[Peter]

Great titles! What were they changed to?

Ken V.
You forgot

Kevin's new mummy Nigel

[Animagess]

Did you make these up? I'm going to try some of my own:

39. 'R' Stands For 'Really Cool': A Child's Guide to the MPAA

40. Used Needles and Where to Find Them

41. Substance Abuse and Other Fun Things To Do on a Saturday Afternoon

42. Music to Swear By

43. Why Your Parents Lie To You

44. Chicken Soup for the Serial Killer's Soul

45. Harry Works Retail! True Stories About Growing Up

46. The Berenstain Bears and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

47. Potty Training Is For Losers

48. Mommy Wants To Eat You

49. A Child's Guide to Autopsy Using Live Squirrels

50. If The Man Has A Cool Car, Get In!

51. How To Make It So That You'll Never Have Homework Again

52. Math for Kids: Running + Scissors = Awesome

53. How To Exchange Friends For Cooler Ones

54. 'Alternative' Ways to Spell Things

55. Sarcasm and Ignorance Are Your Friends

56. Self-Branding Kit: Comes With Two Free Corporate Logos!

57. Trigonometry Meets Jack the Ripper

58. Funny Ways To Use Bodily Functions At The Dinner Table

59. They're Watching You

60. A Child's Guide to Hacking

Wow. Those are way too fun to write for my own good.

[Tim Hatch]

Good stuff Animagess! Ain't it fun?! I've been waiting for Ken V. to come up with some U.S. Government ones. Ken? :cool:

[Tim Hatch]

You forgot

Kevin's new mummy Nigel

There's a book here in the states that's called "Heather Has Two Mommies". For some reason it shows up on the Banned Books list often.
:p

[Ken Valentine]

Good stuff Animagess! Ain't it fun?! I've been waiting for Ken V. to come up with some U.S. Government ones. Ken? :cool:

Haven't even given it a thought. I've just been enjoying your contributions.

Okay, here's one.

"Why? Who said so? How does he know?" Lies your teachers tell you.

Ken - drawing a blank - V.

[Mailedbypostman]

That's some funny stuff. :p

[Libby]

I just made this up:

Childrens guide to the "Doctor" game
WARNING: Need an adult to play
:p

[DogWoman]

I just made this up:

Childrens guide to the "Doctor" game
WARNING: Need an adult to play
:p

Refrigerators on the Curb: Your Gateway to Narnia
The Crack House on Pooh Corner
Hop on Pop....oh wait...

[Libby]

The ABZ book is a great example of when the book passes...:D It is a book for adults, but pretends to be for children, if that makes sense...:confused:

An excert(?) from the ABZ book:
HOP SCOTCH! Hop over the bottle of scotch, and if you knock it over, take a drink from the bottle. Isn't thay nice? Next week we will learn how to play doctor


Or something like that.:D

[ccosborne3]

Refrigerators on the Curb: Your Gateway to Narnia


:thumbsup:

[ImDeranged]

How about?

"If you give a Keith a Toke"
"Everyone Poops/ Everything Flies"

I'll stop there for now.

[Scott Miller]

How about?

"If you give a Keith a Toke"
"Everyone Poops/ Everything Flies"

I'll stop there for now.

There is actually a kids book called Everyone Poops.

[ImDeranged]

There is actually a kids book called Everyone Poops.

I once had to put it up on a display that also featured a paper airplane kit called Everything Flies. And of course me being who I am I set them next to each other, Everyone Poops/ Everything Flies...:idea: the combo version.

[Libby]

There is actually a kids book called Everyone Poops.

A friend of mine came up with this:

Brown Spot on the Wall by Hu Flung Poo

[NickelobLight]

Fun With Matches

If Everyone's Doing it, it Must be Cool

The Hijinks and Tomfoolery of Sam Berkowitz

How to Win at Russian Roullette

You Shouldn't Bleed from Down There!: A Guide for young Ladies

You're a Failure and Nobody Loves You

If the Job's Too Hard, Quit!

Welfare: How to get Free Money!

Fifth Base: It's Not just for Pooping! (okay, that was kind of wrong...I'll stop now).

[Libby]

You Shouldn't Bleed from Down There!: A Guide for young Ladies

Fifth Base: It's Not just for Pooping! (okay, that was kind of wrong...I'll stop now).

Oh, no!! Those are the so mean! And there is no 5th base, that is either a homerun OR, more likley, 3rd base.:D

[NickelobLight]

Oh, no!! Those are the so mean! And there is no 5th base, that is either a homerun OR, more likley, 3rd base.:D

Um...hate to break this to you...think of a...um...homerun but - never mind. I shouldn't be saying this

Yeah, like I said, that's just wrong...

[Libby]

Um...hate to break this to you...think of a...um...homerun but - never mind. I shouldn't be saying this

Yeah, like I said, that's just wrong...

Some say it is base 4 1/2, but it is a form of homerun. WHose the teenager here?:D

[NickelobLight]

Some say it is base 4 1/2, but it is a form of homerun. WHose the teenager here?:D

You shouldn't know about that kind of stuff!!! :eek:

I thought you all read Harry Potter and watch Spongebob!

[Libby]

You shouldn't know about that kind of stuff!!! :eek:

I thought you all read Harry Potter and watch Spongebob!

Well, some of my friends and I can up with a code, exactly what each base was. We can watch Harry Potter(most people I know haven't read them) and Spongebob while playing turth, dare, double dare, promise, or, repeat and S.M.A.S.H.:D